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Funniest Dave Chappelle Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funniest Dave Chappelle" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Hey baby, baby go home man its three oclock in the morning what the fu.. are you doing up. The baby said I'm sellin weed ni....
Dave Chappelle
15 Likes
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Most people don't know what it's like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It's not like I'm doing heavy lifting up there. It's not like I'm solving the world's problems. It's like I'm hanging out with a bunch of people and it's cool.
Dave Chappelle
4 Likes
I would go to work on the show and I felt awful everyday, that's not the way it was. I felt like some kind of prostitute or something. If I feel so bad, why keep on showing up to this place? I'm going to Africa. The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
Dave Chappelle
11 Likes
I knew it was a bad idea, but I was high. I tried to explain to him that it was a bad idea but all that came out was well ni... sometimes you gotta race, I don't know.
Dave Chappelle
18 Likes
Hey, ni...s! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, ni...! Woogie boogie!
Dave Chappelle
28 Likes
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I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
Dave Chappelle
12 Likes
Terrorists don't take black hostages. That's the truth. I have yet to see one of us on the news reading a hostage letter. Like, 'Uh...they is treatin us good. Uh we are chillin and shit. I'd like to give a shout out to Ray-Ray an Big Steve and uh, send some Newports!'
Dave Chappelle
27 Likes
They got a character on there named Oscar, they treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right in his face, "Oscar you are so mean! Isn't he kids?", "Yeah Oscar! Your a grouch!", its like "bi...! I LIVE IN A fu..ING TRASHCAN!
Dave Chappelle
50 Likes
Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe I lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!
Dave Chappelle
27 Likes
Good motherfu..ing choice, motherfu..er! Samuel Jackson! Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L. Jackson! It'll get ya drunk! You'll be fu..ing fat girls in no time! You might even fight a ni... or two! Mmmm-mmm, bi...!
Dave Chappelle
30 Likes
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New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried.
Dave Chappelle
11 Likes
Skeet Skeet Skeet!
Dave Chappelle
15 Likes
Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't.
Chris Pratt
0 Likes
My fans are buying the DNA of Dave.
Dave Pelzer
3 Likes
I have THE funniest tutors.
Kendall Jenner
1 Likes
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Only one of us would usually sing lead. Which most of the time was, Mickey or Dave. They thought it was perfectly a natural routine, because Mickey and Dave saw themselves as TV actors.
Peter Tork
0 Likes
I have the funniest family hands down.
Kylie Jenner
1 Likes
Someone please tell me the funniest yo mama jokes right now.
Dahvie Vanity
30 Likes
Here's my most funniest joke, I'm broke.
Lil Wayne
2483 Likes
I printed a list of Irish names from the Internet and my husband, Dave, saw Finley on the list. I really liked it but didn't want to scare Dave off with my enthusiasm. So I used a little reverse psychology and let him think it was his idea.
Holly Marie Combs
5 Likes
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