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Funny Celebrity Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Celebrity Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.
Carol Burnett
6 Likes
Celebrity quotes
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I'm not a celebrity. I don't call myself a celebrity. I'm an actor.
Sophia Bush
2 Likes
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
Funny quotes
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People may think he's not perfect but in my mind he's beyond perfect when you're able to look into his eyes and see the real him. Having his arms wrapped around you because he cares more about you than anything, the way he says I love you and those cute little inside jokes nobody else would understand the way he giggles at your jokes even when they aren't even funny or the way he talks about you to his friends it makes you realize how much he means to you. His flaws make him perfect and when I'm around him I feel like everything's okay again and he's the solution to all my problems.
Unknown
564 Likes
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So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Henry Youngman
167 Likes
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All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
30 Likes
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Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?
Paris Hilton
13 Likes
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Were going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Jason Kidd
13 Likes
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The celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
Daniel J Boorstin
3 Likes
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What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
9 Likes
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I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
Greg Norman
9 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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A man known to us only as a celebrity in politics or in trade, gains largely in our esteem if we discover that he has some intellectual taste or skill
Ralph Waldo Emerson
1 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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What do you call identical boobs? Identitties.
Unknown
110 Likes
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So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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Hi. Um, my camel called...he wants his toe back!
Unknown
59 Likes
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