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Funny Ex Lover Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Ex Lover Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
Unknown
705 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head.
Unknown
297 Likes
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Whoever said white men can't jump has clearly never played Temple Run.
Unknown
220 Likes
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Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together.
Unknown
332 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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Dear Internet Users, Someday u will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.
Unknown
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I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms.
Unknown
341 Likes
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Always take your drivers license pic STONED, that way whenever you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that.
Unknown
451 Likes
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I wish Google maps had an, 'Avoid The Ghetto Route' option.
Unknown
230 Likes
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Rick Ross shirts be looking like a sheet from a King size bed!
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120 Likes
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That awkward moment when the teacher says slaves....and everyone looks at that one black kid in the class.
Unknown
162 Likes
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Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.
Unknown
306 Likes
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
Unknown
235 Likes
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420 Facebook Status quotes
There are three kinds of patriots, two bad, one good. The bad ones are the uncritical lovers and the loveless critics. Good patriots carry on a lover's quarrel with their country, a reflection of God's lover's quarrel with all the world.
William Sloane Coffin Jr
17 Likes
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
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585 Likes
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A great lover is not a man who romances a different woman every night. A great lover is one who romances the same woman for a lifetime.
Unknown
57 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
Unknown
113 Likes
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I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.
Unknown
586 Likes
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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, then that's not going to happen.
Unknown
198 Likes
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