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Funny Facebook Status About Bei Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status About Bei" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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There is nothing as disgusting as the feeling you get the moment that your finger breaks through the toilet paper.
Unknown
305 Likes
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On a scale from Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many different facial expressions do you have?
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264 Likes
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They say you are what you eat. Well that's funny...I don't recall eating a s..y beast today.
Unknown
100 Likes
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I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone. Everyone knows the black one runs faster.
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575 Likes
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Absolutely no one can text faster than a pissed off woman.
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589 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
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693 Likes
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I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits so when you add someone it'll say 'You are now friends with benefits!'
Unknown
639 Likes
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Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.
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473 Likes
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My stupid GPS can't find Rack City. bi....
Unknown
465 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
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705 Likes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
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1005 Likes
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I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms.
Unknown
341 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.
Unknown
567 Likes
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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fu.. itself.
Unknown
636 Likes
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Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
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841 Likes
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Whoever said white men can't jump has clearly never played Temple Run.
Unknown
220 Likes
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Hey I just met you, & this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts. You're face looks tasty!
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284 Likes
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I wish Google maps had an, 'Avoid The Ghetto Route' option.
Unknown
230 Likes
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Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship?
Unknown
349 Likes
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