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Funny Facebook Wit Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Wit" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Everyones middle name should be, motherfu..in...try it. Doesn't it sound so great?
Unknown
370 Likes
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If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard.
Unknown
775 Likes
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I'm much more upset about Breaking Bad's shutdown than about the government's.
Unknown
107 Likes
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Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas.
Unknown
336 Likes
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Absolutely no one can text faster than a pissed off woman.
Unknown
589 Likes
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Hey I just met you, and girl you look crazy, what brands your make-up, Crayola maybe?
Unknown
605 Likes
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Is wondering who was the first to look at a cow and think: I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!
Unknown
223 Likes
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When you're putting on jeans with holes and your foot goes through the hole.
Unknown
72 Likes
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If your relationship is so complicated that you have to specify it as such on Facebook, you should get off Facebook and fix it.
Unknown
143 Likes
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Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook?
Unknown
469 Likes
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The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
Unknown
960 Likes
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The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Johnneil Bertrand
505 Likes
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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My stupid GPS can't find Rack City. bi....
Unknown
465 Likes
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Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.
Unknown
567 Likes
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Does a prostitude file pregnancy as a work-related accident?
Unknown
645 Likes
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I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then.
Unknown
168 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
Unknown
705 Likes
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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Whoever said white men can't jump has clearly never played Temple Run.
Unknown
220 Likes
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