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Funny Joke For To Today I Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Joke For To Today I" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Happy Leap Day. According to 30 Rock, which is an authority on these matters: anything that happens today, didn't.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Feel free to celebrate Boss's Day by blaming me for one of your many mistakes today.
Unknown
28 Likes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Tommy Cooper
70 Likes
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I looked out the car window today and Im realizing that I miss you again. Its funny how out of nowhere you came to mind. the truth is, I wish you were still here.
Unknown
312 Likes
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Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto.
Dale Carnegie
1 Likes
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Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools.
Marshall McLuhan
3 Likes
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We human girls can be persuaded to do ANYTHING. Just yesterday I said I would never ever wear a tampon, and, well what do you know?! Today I'm wearing one.
Jeanie Wilding
61 Likes
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Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles M Schulz
18 Likes
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Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles M Schulz
16 Likes
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Let's honor Canada today by letting high school kids drink legally.
Unknown
7 Likes
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I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.
George Foreman
19 Likes
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don't think about tomorrow, because what you do today can improve your tomorrow.
Unknown
11 Likes
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President Bush is trying to put a positive spin on the latest bad economic numbers. Today he declared victory in the 'War on Jobs.'
Craig Kilborn
27 Likes
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I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.
Steve Zahn
1 Likes
I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, 'Parking Fine'
Unknown
305 Likes
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Start the day off right...On the toilet...Shitting out yesterday's bullshit getting ready to digest today.
Marlon Wayans
65 Likes
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Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
Unknown
1947 Likes
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America's veterans and troops serving abroad today fought hard to preserve our red, white and blue, from the Revolutionary War to today's Global War Against Terrorism, and Congress' action today is appropriate for one of our most sacred symbols.
Bill Shuster
11 Likes
It feels like today I know. It feels like today I'm sure. It's the one that's missing, the one thing you're wishing, the last sacred blessing and hey it feels like today.
Rascal Flatts
15 Likes
New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.
Emo Philips
16 Likes
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