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Funny New Years Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny New Years Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.'
Unknown
722 Likes
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Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
Unknown
841 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head.
Unknown
297 Likes
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Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together.
Unknown
332 Likes
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Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.
Unknown
567 Likes
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That awkward moment when the teacher says slaves....and everyone looks at that one black kid in the class.
Unknown
162 Likes
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
Unknown
235 Likes
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420 Facebook Status quotes
Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
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Dear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there's Twitter for a reason.
Unknown
273 Likes
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I will stop peeping into my boyfriend's female friends profile on facebook.
Unknown
20 Likes
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Friends are like underwear, always near you. Good friends are like condoms, always protecting you. Best friends are like viagra, lift you up when you are down.
Unknown
2145 Likes
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Facebook is like boys, once you understand them they change.
Hussein Nishah
118 Likes
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All women crave attention, but Twitter and Facebook exposes all the women that can't function without it.
Mitchell Perry
457 Likes
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My dog thinks I am patting his belly...little does he know I am playing the most epic drum solo of all time.
Unknown
181 Likes
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If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please.
Unknown
121 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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Dear Jesus, I can afford wine. How about you start turning water into gas?
Unknown
260 Likes
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