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Funny Thursday Notes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Thursday Notes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.
Unknown
9 Likes
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Now that the holiday blues are over, let's resume our everyday melancholy.
Unknown
11 Likes
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I won't kill you, but I'll enjoy reading your obituary.
Unknown
31 Likes
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If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes...we are racing.
Unknown
77 Likes
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Friday is the beginning of my liver's workweek.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Unknown
264 Likes
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Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
Lucy Liu
40 Likes
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Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas are funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
Joe Murray
2 Likes
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Zariahh Renee
378 Likes
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My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013, which I should have done in 2012, because I promised them in 2011 and planned them in 2010.
Unknown
101 Likes
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I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places.
John Cougar Mellencamp
13 Likes
I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
Unknown
8 Likes
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It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'
Unknown
63 Likes
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All diseases run into one, old age.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
30 Likes
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I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?" Why did I cause so much pain? Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness? Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love? I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong. We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. And God says, "No, that's not right." Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything.
Chuck Palahniuk
11 Likes
I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Shubham Joshi
170 Likes
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A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking. Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.
Unknown
549 Likes
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