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Funny Water Poloen Leading Woman Onan Onn Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Water Poloen Leading Woman Onan Onn" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fu.. would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fu..in' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bi...: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!
Mitch Hedberg
16 Likes
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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
24 Likes
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Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good.
Howard Stern
11 Likes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
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Man will never understand woman and vice versa. We are oil and water. An equal level can never be maintained, as one will always excel where the other doesn't, and that breeds resentment.
Dionne Warwick
1 Likes
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
Les Dawson
1182 Likes
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I have friends who are leading men, and they're only ever allowed to play leading men of a certain type. But as a character actor, there's a wider variety of projects available. On the big Hollywood films, all they care about is having their lead in place, so it's actually easier for someone like me to slip in. And I'm happy to do so.
Eddie Marsan
1 Likes
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Dave Barry
16 Likes
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A real miracle would be Jesus turning water into less expensive gasoline.
Unknown
25 Likes
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Whoever said nothing is impossible...Never tried to staple water to a tree.
Unknown
395 Likes
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There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink.
Bible
0 Likes
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Being a woman is a terribly difficult task,since it consists principally in dealing with men
Unknown
135 Likes
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Woman Law: My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Nikhil Saluja
79 Likes
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Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.
Jesus
3 Likes
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
12 Likes
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I don't have to wait until I'm in some comedy club, onstage with a stool and a water and a mic. I'm funny everywhere.
Tracy Morgan
2 Likes
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Unknown
134 Likes
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The water was like a physiological stimuli to the subconscious that overwhelmed people with too much psychoanalytical material, you might say. People could do 10 breathing sessions without the water, and then they did breathing sessions in the water.
Leonard Orr
1 Likes
Thank you for praising good work, thank you for leading by example, thank you for caring about us and what we do. Thank you for being so terrific to work for. Happy Bosss Day!
Unknown
30 Likes
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