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George Carlin Christmas Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Christmas" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The only blind person at Christmastime is he who has not Christmas in his heart.
Helen Keller
22 Likes
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Bells are ringing and everyone is singing, It's Christmas! It's Christmas! Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Unknown
33 Likes
Merry Christmas Wishes quotes
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day
George Carlin
2 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your whole life...? Take a freakin' chance!
George Carlin
14 Likes
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
16 Likes
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
3 Likes
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At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
George Carlin
6 Likes
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Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.
George Carlin
25 Likes
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I have always thought of Christmas as a good time; a kind, forgiving, generous, pleasant time; a time when men and women seem to open their hearts freely, and so I say, God bless Christmas!
Charles Dickens
132 Likes
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Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.
Laura Ingalls Wilder
176 Likes
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Religion is just mind control
George Carlin
9 Likes
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If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem
George Carlin
5 Likes
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When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
1 Likes
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Religion is just mind control
George Carlin
5 Likes
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fu..
George Carlin
61 Likes
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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Christmas is the time to touch every heart with love and care. Christmas is the time to receive and send blessings. It is the time to breathe the magic in the air. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas.
Unknown
2 Likes
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From Home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Emily Matthews
96 Likes
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