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Israel Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Israel Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The moment when someone jokes about one of your insecurities and you have to pretend like it didn't bother you.
Unknown
179 Likes
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henry Youngman
19 Likes
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When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...
Robert Paul
43 Likes
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I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
Dan Hicks
0 Likes
I remember, growing up, if something big, God forbid. happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey.
Oscar Nunez
3 Likes
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course.
Unknown
19 Likes
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When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
2 Likes
i know you think you broke my heart, but I saw your game right from the start, I knew it well and played it too, so laugh it up the jokes on you.
Katie Johnson
51 Likes
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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Anonymous
67 Likes
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A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
Arnold H Glasgow
8 Likes
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I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a $hitload of money.
Jeff Foxworthy
24 Likes
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
63 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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The Iranian regime gives financial support to terrorist organizations all over the world, denies the Holocaust, and calls for the wiping the state of Israel from the map, while developing long-range missiles and trying to obtain nuclear weapon.
Moshe Katsav
1 Likes
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We have a close, unshakable bond between the United States and Israel, and between the American and Israeli people. We share common values and a commitment to a democratic future for the world, and we are both committed to a two-state solution. But that doesn't mean that we're going to agree.
Hillary Clinton
8 Likes
A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it
Israel Zangwill
227 Likes
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I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish.
Leon Uris
1 Likes
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And he took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it.
Bible
0 Likes
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When a peace agreement is concluded between the Lebanese government and Israel, we would surely disagree with the Lebanese government about that, but we would not make any turmoil out of it.
Hassan Nasrallah
0 Likes
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