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Kevin Hart Funny Jokesny Jokesjokesny Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Kevin Hart Funny Jokesny Jokesjokesny Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I was a boy, my mom wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead. Happy Mother's Day!
Jeff Shaw
131 Likes
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If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.
Unknown
189 Likes
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Make sure the clothes you buy on Black Friday take into account how fat you got on Thanksgiving.
Unknown
79 Likes
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I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
Gene Wilder
2 Likes
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
Tim Vine
53 Likes
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Since today is Valentine's day, I was wondering if you'd like to go back to MySpace, so I can Twitter with your Yahoo, until I Google all over your Facebook and we can Instagram our date... ;) Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!!
Unknown
495 Likes
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You can't stand when I have my eyes set on someone else, but don't you realize that I go weak when I'm around you. I always laugh and smile at your jokes even when they're not funny. I take every single chance I have to talk to you. You make me melt in many different ways. I'm crazy about you, but would I ever confess this? I don't think I ever will. It's not that I'm scared. It's just that, you'll never feel the same way.
Unknown
192 Likes
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Whenever you hear that Kevin Spacey is producing a project and he is going to be very in touch and work closely with that project, it is kind of like it doesn't matter what it is, right after that you're very interested. I sat down with the writer-director and my first question was "Where did this come from?" You start having fun with directors, you have to feel like you can relate to them or at least be on the same level in terms of understanding the project and the material. You have to be sort of one with it; and he was. Then, I sat down with Kevin Spacey and Dana Brunetti, who produced it as well, who is fantastic.
Nikki Reed
3 Likes
Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Hanukkah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis.
Unknown
7 Likes
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I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.
Kevin Nealon
13 Likes
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So you wanna hear a joke, its not funny so you wont laugh, so there are three tomatoes walking down the street mamma tomato pappa tomato and baby tomato, so baby tomato starts lagging behind and pappa tomato gets mad and goes back and squashes baby tomato and says ketchup.
Pulp Fiction
44 Likes
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What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.
Anonymous
102 Likes
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An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
Unknown
1496 Likes
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Everyone should be good at what they do.
Ian Hart
0 Likes
I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.
Steve Zahn
1 Likes
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I just want to be rich and famous.
Ian Hart
0 Likes
You learn more doing than doing training.
Ian Hart
0 Likes
If you tell children they are bad, that's what they believe they are and that's probably what they will become.
Louise Hart
0 Likes
I'm belligerent rather than ambitious.
Ian Hart
2 Likes
Food, love, career, and mother, the four major guilt groups.
Unknown
32 Likes
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