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Smart Mouth Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Smart Mouth Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's going to get your paychecks.
Unknown
381 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Siri's on her period. She needs an iPad.
Unknown
167 Likes
Clever Facebook Status quotes
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Pressing the elevator button more than once thinking it will come faster.
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39 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up
Unknown
269 Likes
Clever Facebook Status quotes
Spending half of the movie wondering where you've seen the actor before.
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43 Likes
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When I'm depressed I cut myself...a piece of cake!
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253 Likes
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I feel like getting some work done, so I'm going to sit here until the feeling passes.
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310 Likes
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Hmmm...he looks suspicious...*locks car door*
Unknown
34 Likes
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I'm afraid people can see me through my web cam even though its off.
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51 Likes
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Something is wrong with our government when I see people using food stamps and an iPhone.
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148 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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Things that probably shouldn't be broken: 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms
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83 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
I would say a crippled joke but I cant stand them.
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109 Likes
Clever Facebook Status quotes
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I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'
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662 Likes
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I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks...I mean how do you not hear the music?
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625 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I would watch NASCAR if the drivers had had as much to drink as the fans.
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242 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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That one person you wish you never gave your phone number to.
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78 Likes
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If you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face.
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85 Likes
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Why do tests on animals if we have pedophiles in prison.
Unknown
472 Likes
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The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Unknown
648 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks for coming.'
Unknown
710 Likes
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