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Ugly Funny Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Ugly Funny Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent...
Unknown
459 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Hi, I'm a shower. If you turn me on, I'll make you wet.
Mickey Anderson
230 Likes
Clever Facebook Status quotes
Funny quotes
Sex quotes
Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.
Unknown
481 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Unknown
434 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I'm glad there will be an iPhone that's affordable to the sweatshop workers who make iPhones.
Unknown
39 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
Unknown
308 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Theft quotes
I wonder if there will be a day where they were fu..ing sick of making calendars?
Unknown
104 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
End Of The World quotes
I last longer than Obamacare call center wait times.
Unknown
310 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Sex quotes
Started writing poetry the other day. POETR, it's coming along nicely.
Unknown
210 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.
Unknown
256 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Being Single quotes
I'm pretty sure the whole ladies first thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.
Unknown
2760 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
Unknown
540 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
Unknown
1223 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Unknown
524 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...'That looks tasty, I'm gonna eat that.'
Unknown
568 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved.
Unknown
154 Likes
Funny quotes
Hope you're feeling okay after being s..ually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
Unknown
67 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
This Saturday has been sponsored by Tylenol and Jack Daniels.
Unknown
125 Likes
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I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
Unknown
2887 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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