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Very Short Funny Thoughts Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Very Short Funny Thoughts" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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I've got thoughts more tangled than my headphones.
Unknown
9 Likes
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I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
Shelley Winters
26 Likes
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What do you call a blind German? A not see!
Unknown
133 Likes
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Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.
Carol Nelson
103 Likes
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What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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What do you call identical boobs? Identitties.
Unknown
110 Likes
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Happy thoughts or wishful thinking won't cut it. Rather, the trick is to replace negative thoughts with more balanced thoughts.
Senora Roy
18 Likes
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I'm positive I lost an electron, I better keep an ion that.
Unknown
144 Likes
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Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.
Unknown
204 Likes
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A blind man walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair.
Unknown
135 Likes
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I just made Romney noodles Obama self.
Unknown
123 Likes
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I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
Jack Benny
303 Likes
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I just tripped over my sister's bras. I guess it was a booby trap.
Unknown
155 Likes
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I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
Unknown
2887 Likes
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Wanna hear a joke about my pe..s? Never mind, it's too long.
Unknown
3462 Likes
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What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
Unknown
208 Likes
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Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
Unknown
224 Likes
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