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Hey Wtf You Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Hey Wtf You" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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"I saw this sign posted once, it said, 'blasting zone ahead'. Wow... shouldn't that read: Road Closed. What do you mean there's a blasting zone, what am I supposed to do, 'Hey-- ah, you might wanna buckle up, blasting zone coming up. Yeah. Just saw the sign. Put the helmets on back there! Yeah I think we're-- (Pow!)-- Oh! We're getting close! (Pow!)-- Oh! This is gonna be a bad blasting zone! Remember that last one--we lost Billy?"
Brian Regan
12 Likes
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There's tons of fans and we hear all of these high pitch voices and we hear 'Rah, rah, Taylor, Taylor!' All of a sudden I hear this deep voice behind me: 'Taylor, Taylor!' .... And this guy walks up to me and he goes 'Hey ... my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan is there any way I can get a picture with you. I'm Jamie Foxx.' I was like, 'Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?'
Taylor Lautner
12 Likes
Hey little fighter, I know you are asking yourself why you have to feel so much pain, so much hate, why do you have to go through that stuff. You know that the destiny choose you and that you will see one time the purpose for that struggle. You should not give up, giving up is the easiest thing to do, so dont, dont give up. You are stronger as you may think and you are brave, believe in yourself and keep moving forward. Life will reward you one day for that. You always have to remember too that you are not alone, never. There are people which believe in you, which support you, always remember that. Also listen to your inner spirit, I'm sure its saying; Dont give up! Be your own hero, you know you can do it. All you have to do is to BELIEVE!
Unknown
126 Likes
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If I'm with my friends, and they'll be like, 'Oh, hey, where's your dad? Let's go say hi.' And I'll be like, 'Oh, no. He's watching hours and hours of TED Talks just...Dude, don't go in there.' Last time I went in there, he said, 'Jaden, so the art of telling stories is an art that you really have to learn. I want you to read Aesop's Fables.' 'Dad, I've read Aesop's Fables three times.' 'Honestly, you can't read it enough.' But when you're on your way to see a 9:15 movie and it's nine o'clock, he's like, 'Wait, wait, Jaden, I need to tell you something about life, man.'
Jaden Smith
41 Likes
We can do it like the mandem mandem hey. We can do it like the mandem suga suga suga.
Jessie J
8 Likes
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When I walk around, sometimes people recognize me from things they've seen me in, TV or whatever. And they'd say, you know, stuff, and a lot of times, I wouldn't hear what they'd said because I had headphones on. So, I kinda just go, 'Cool, man. Glad you like the show.' And I'd just keep walking. And this one guy said something to me one time, and I went, 'Cool, man. Glad you like the show.' And then right when I walked past him, I realized, 'Oh, man, that guy didn't say anything about the show.' He went, 'Hey, man, your fly's down.' And I went, 'Cool, man. Glad you like the show. Glad you like seeing my d..k pop out of my pants. Come back next week, you can see one of my balls.'
Aziz Ansari
21 Likes
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron! and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice. Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
Jack Handy
10 Likes
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Hey you. Yes you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hatin your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldnt be you & why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are, smile, it'll draw people in. If anyone haters on you because you are happy with yourself, stick your middle finger in the air and say my happiness will not depend on others anymore. Im happy because I love who I am, I love my flaws, I love my imperfections, they make me, me. & 'me' is pretty amazing.
Unknown
248 Likes
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Hey you. Yes you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you liked someone else, or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things you wouldn't be you. And, why would you want to be anyone els? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself, then you stick your middle finger in the air, and say screw it! Your happiness will not, be depended on anyone anymore. Life is too short to be perfect. Love your imperfections, they make you, you. And, your flaws is what make you beautiful. So, be you. Because, you, are pretty amazing.
Unknown
87 Likes
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So finally, on about the fifteenth tee, I hit the drive of my life. And any of you people who play golf, you know the drive I'm talking about. The minute you hit it, you just drop your club. You hang on to the beer, let's don't get stupid. And I watch this ball just go and go and...kind of hit this guy in the head. And I felt bad, but he overreacted, I thought. I mean, it wasn't like a square hit; it just kind of glanced off his head. But he goes whippin' his car off the freeway, like 'here we go!' Mr. Attitude! So now, he's barreling down the fairway screaming at the top of his lungs, like 'what are you, some kind of cruddy golfer?' I'm like, 'hey, I hit you, didn't I? You were traveling sixty-five miles an hour. That's a pretty good shot in my book.'
Bill Engvall
10 Likes
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Kingston, hey, face drop, oh, Kingston, I see your face drop, drop, drop
Sean Kingston
4 Likes
Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!"
John Mayer
56 Likes
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One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have s.. for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Unknown
341 Likes
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