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American Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "American Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Friends are like underwear, always near you. Good friends are like condoms, always protecting you. Best friends are like viagra, lift you up when you are down.
Unknown
2145 Likes
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I'm an American first, and I think that's how most people are.
Ed Gillespie
1 Likes
An American psycho!
Misfits
0 Likes
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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This 2016 my resolution is to complete the resolution of 2015 that I should have completed in 2014.
Anurag Prakash Ray
45 Likes
Funny quotes
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Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.
Billy Bob Thornton
2 Likes
Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...
Unknown
561 Likes
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Kids are price less. They are loud, funny, loveable, crazy, funny, and a hand full. Even though they look so peaceful and calm when they're sleeping, you just hope they wake up to see them smile or just hear the sound of little foot steps around the house.
Sinahi Martinez
69 Likes
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I am a gay American.
James McGreevey
0 Likes
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L.A. is my American city.
Tom Ford
0 Likes
It's never over till it's over
American Proverb
0 Likes
Ending quotes
Even though you left me by myself, do I want you back?
All American Rejects
10 Likes
I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'
Garrison Keillor
0 Likes
I am pro-American.
John Bolton
0 Likes
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Solitude is un-American.
Erica Jong
0 Likes
I let the American people down.
Richard M Nixon
0 Likes
Like American honey.
Lady Antebellum
2 Likes
Here's to ending the New Year still having a job that you still wish you didn't have.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Let's resolve to repeat last year's mistakes.
Unknown
19 Likes
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