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Clever And Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Clever And Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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420 Facebook Status
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I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
Seann William Scott
11 Likes
They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
0 Likes
Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time.
Cloris Leachman
4 Likes
She felt like a chess player who, by the clever handling of his pieces, sees the game taking the course intended. Her eyes were bright and tender with a smile as they glanced up into his; and her lips looked hungry for the kiss which they invited.
Kate Chopin
2 Likes
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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Men pass in front of our eyes like butterflies, creatures of a brief season. We love them; they are brave, proud, beautiful, clever; and they die almost at once. They die so soon that our hearts are continually racked with pain.
Philip Pullman
2 Likes
When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
1439 Likes
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Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
Matthew Perry
5 Likes
Don't feel depressed if you're alone this one day. Feel depressed that you're alone the other 364 days of the year.
Unknown
118 Likes
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My s.. life is like a Ferrari...I don't have a Ferrari.
Unknown
277 Likes
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That awkward moment when your gone for 2 weeks and expect to have like a ZILLION notifications but you end up only having like, 3.
Unknown
1124 Likes
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People often get the wrong impression of Mick. The clever businessman is just one side of Mick. The other side is the same as the rest of us, a true rocker!
Ron Wood
1 Likes
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My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.
Nikhil Saluja
234 Likes
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That awkward moment when an ugly person says I need my beauty sleep when they really need to hibernate...
Unknown
1782 Likes
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I won't take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet...you have time to move.
Unknown
1694 Likes
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That awkward moment when people constaly say You know? Its like, why are you telling me stuff I know? You know?
Unknown
559 Likes
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I really hope that Jessica Biel names her first child 'Batmo.'
Unknown
69 Likes
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