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Cryptic Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Cryptic Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood...
Unknown
450 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I'll just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.
Unknown
117 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
I would say a crippled joke but I cant stand them.
Unknown
109 Likes
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I like people who can keep the conversation going no matter how random the topics get.
Unknown
45 Likes
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The only reason I'd ever move to L.A. is to get away from conversations about the weather changing.
Unknown
31 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and avoiding all of the mirrors.
Unknown
128 Likes
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Spending half of the movie wondering where you've seen the actor before.
Unknown
43 Likes
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I've never seen a McDonalds or a Burger King under construction. They just show up out of nowhere.
Unknown
107 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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The awkward moment when the ticket vendor says, 'Enjoy your movie.' and then you say, 'You too!'
Unknown
72 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
I'm afraid people can see me through my web cam even though its off.
Unknown
51 Likes
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If you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face.
Unknown
85 Likes
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I wish the dollar store sold gas.
Unknown
58 Likes
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Facebook should change the relationship status 'Its complicated' to 'It's confusing and stressful and we're seeing other people.'
Unknown
9 Likes
I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'
Unknown
662 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Unknown
648 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Everyone hates being humiliated. Yet, karaoke still exists...
Unknown
26 Likes
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I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks for coming.'
Unknown
710 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Things that probably shouldn't be broken: 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms
Unknown
83 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
One of the hardest things to do is trying to plug in your charger in when it's completely dark.
Unknown
97 Likes
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When I'm depressed I cut myself...a piece of cake!
Unknown
253 Likes
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