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Date Night Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Date Night Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I could not tell you the date of my mother's death. I could not tell you the date of my dad's death. These are not dates that I find significant.
O J Simpson
4 Likes
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People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but Im human, I dont date fish.
Unknown
173 Likes
Funny quotes
Sarcastic quotes
Dating quotes
Here's to the night I stood alone, to the night I cried so hard I couldn't breathe, to the night I prayed for him to come back to me, and of course to the night where he never looked back.
Unknown
278 Likes
Heartbreak quotes
Broken Love quotes
Sad Break Up quotes
Ex Boyfriend quotes
Now rather thank I God there is no risk Of gravers scoring it with florid screed. Let my inscription be this soldier's disc. Wear it, sweet friend. Inscribe no date nor deed. But may thy heart-beat kiss it, night and day, Until the name grow blurred and fade away.
Wilfred Owen
5 Likes
World War I quotes
A man in Detroit was sentenced to two years in prison for stealing a woman's car after skipping out on the check on their first date. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that he did that, or the fact that she's still counting it as a date.
Seth Meyers
7 Likes
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If you kiss on the first date and it's not right, then there will be no second date. Sometimes it's better to hold out and not kiss for a long time. I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.
Jennifer Lopez
38 Likes
Yo if the last time you were on a date they had pay phones, you know its been a long time since you had a date.
Pauly D
21 Likes
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Each night I wish that you are safe at your home. Each night I wish you are sound asleep. Because if I know that ghosts like you are wandering around, I can never sleep. So for the sake of humanity, have a good night sleep.
Unknown
69 Likes
Good Night Messages quotes
Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
Humor quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Keeping It Real quotes
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Make sure you never, never argue at night. You just lose a good night's sleep, and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
Rose F Kennedy
47 Likes
Night quotes
Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player.
Marsha Warfield
3 Likes
Funny quotes
People quotes
I don't consider myself a great singer--but I have a connection with the audience. There's the artist, and then a void and the audience; but I like to be part of the audience. I'd like to be them, and I'd like them to be me for an hour and a half. I get criticized for being the antichrist, causing kids to commit suicide, but that's total bullsh-t. My intentions are not that. Every year they have Halloween, and all I do is take Halloween night out on the road every night. It's like a Halloween party every night. If that was the case on Halloween night, the police cells would be full--everyone would have turned Satanic for the night!.
Ozzy Osbourne
24 Likes
Guys should be clean and their underwear free of skid-marks. If they are not then run as fast as you can in the other direction and never date him again. Guys should also be funny, have a great smile, be trustworthy and have a good relationship with his mom.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
1 Likes
I'm really glad I didn't have kids earlier, because I probably would have ignored them. I was so into my career. I could just go and play a ton of shows, night after night after night. I can't do that anymore.
Bob Seger
1 Likes
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When we were 16, after four years of kissing and playing boyfriend and girlfriend, we were like, "Hey, do we really like each other or do we just pretend we like each other five days a week?" So we went out to dinner one time. It wasn't like a real date or anything, we were just like, 'Maybe we should hang out outside of work and see if we really like each other.' We just ended up joking like we always did, like brother and sister, and realized at the end of our dinner date that we're more like family.
Danielle Fishel
110 Likes
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Unknown
33 Likes
Stupid quotes
Funny quotes
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Philips
47 Likes
Funny quotes
A day without sunshine is like, night.
Unknown
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Positive quotes
If you kiss on the first date and it's not right, then there will be no second date. Sometimes it's better to hold out and not kiss for a long time. I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.
Jennifer Lopez
30 Likes
Dating quotes
Kissing quotes
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