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Funeral Home Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funeral Home Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Somebody once asked me if I changed my name for acting. What kind of an idiot would want to suffer a lifetime of food jokes? And every article ever written about me says something about 'sizzling Bacon' or 'out of the frying pan' or 'bringing home the Bacon.'
Kevin Bacon
4 Likes
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Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
Robert Collier
169 Likes
Jokes quotes
They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and their kind-hearted jokes, it would only make me want to scream all the more. If I talk, everyone thinks I'm showing off; when I'm.
Anne Frank
35 Likes
Jokes quotes
My driver Kellie Frost and I would race these fellows home and they were always faster on the highway. We did the same with Daniel and his driver, and thus began a long series of jokes and competitions to alleviate the impossible hours and tensions this film provoked.
Madeleine Stowe
0 Likes
Jokes are always better than promises. Because jokes are half meant, while promises are half lies.
Unknown
52 Likes
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One of the standing jokes of Congress is that the new Congressman always spends the first week wondering how he got there and the rest of the time wondering how the other members got there.
Unknown
13 Likes
Jokes quotes
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.
Nikhil Saluja
234 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
170 Likes
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Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Unknown
252 Likes
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It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
St Thomas Aquinas
46 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
21 Likes
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Who ever invented the Knock- Knock jokes should get a No-bell prize!
Unknown
202 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on thee and I'll forgive thy great big one on me.
Robert Frost
16 Likes
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Smith
532 Likes
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People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
Dolly Parton
35 Likes
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For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
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3 blonds were driving to Disney World: The sign said 'Disney World Left,' so they started crying, turned around and drove home.
Unknown
47 Likes
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We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home.
Gene Perret
87 Likes
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My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh - anything but work.
Abraham Lincoln
271 Likes
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
304 Likes
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