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Funny Facebook Date Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Date" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If your trying to date me, date me for a reason....NOT a season.
Syoung
11 Likes
Dating quotes
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I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
Unknown
382 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.
Unknown
3329 Likes
Sarcastic quotes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.
Unknown
481 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
Unknown
540 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Hi, I'm a shower. If you turn me on, I'll make you wet.
Mickey Anderson
230 Likes
Clever Facebook Status quotes
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Hope you're feeling okay after being s..ually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
Unknown
67 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
Unknown
1223 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm 4 months pregnant, and its your baby .
Carlos Banks
190 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Where's Kanye West when my parents are giving me a 9376969675949 hour lecture?
Unknown
21 Likes
Funny quotes
Life quotes
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I wonder if there will be a day where they were fu..ing sick of making calendars?
Unknown
104 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Unknown
434 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I need breakfast! If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me.
Unknown
176 Likes
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I'm pretty sure the whole ladies first thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.
Unknown
2760 Likes
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Women who complain are like yellow traffic lights. Nobody really pays attention to them.
Unknown
276 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved.
Unknown
154 Likes
Funny quotes
My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
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This Saturday has been sponsored by Tylenol and Jack Daniels.
Unknown
125 Likes
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I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent...
Unknown
459 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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