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Funny Facebook Date Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Date" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop...
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576 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Started writing poetry the other day. POETR, it's coming along nicely.
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210 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I'm pretty sure I have a defective iphone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
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264 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night.
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294 Likes
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I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
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2887 Likes
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No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
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2505 Likes
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Wanna hear a joke about my pe..s? Never mind, it's too long.
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3462 Likes
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The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.
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256 Likes
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I'm glad there will be an iPhone that's affordable to the sweatshop workers who make iPhones.
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39 Likes
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I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
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1060 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
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524 Likes
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Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
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308 Likes
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I last longer than Obamacare call center wait times.
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310 Likes
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I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...'That looks tasty, I'm gonna eat that.'
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568 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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1682 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
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291 Likes
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That awkward moment when you say 'Hey' to someone on facebook chat, and seconds later they sign out. How Rude.
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538 Likes
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Most girls date boys because of their money. True girls would look beyond it, and date guys because of their personality.
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210 Likes
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
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1536 Likes
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
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201 Likes
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