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Funny Flirty Headlines Dating Websiteebsite Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Flirty Headlines Dating Websiteebsite" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Unknown
170 Likes
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My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Valentine's Day is the perfect time to reflect on all your horrible dating choices since last Valentine's Day.
Unknown
58 Likes
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Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did this year.
Unknown
241 Likes
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No, I'm not jealous of your new girlfriend. I feel sorry for her, because she's dating an unfaithful selfish asshole.
Unknown
400 Likes
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
Seann William Scott
11 Likes
I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...�
Issac Asimov
1381 Likes
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Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
Florenz Ziegfeld
1 Likes
They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
0 Likes
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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I got that experience through dating dozens of men for six years after college, getting an entry level magazine job at 21, working in the fiction department at Good Housekeeping and then working as a fashion editor there as well as writing many articles for the magazine.
Judith Krantz
1 Likes
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Moving too fast in a relationship is like putting delicate clothes in a hot dryer. Things will heat up fast but permanent damage will be done and it will be hard or possibly impossible to fix.
Brian Zilinek
44 Likes
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When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time.
Cloris Leachman
4 Likes
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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Makeup and high heels are a plus, but a great smile and personality should be a must.
Unknown
379 Likes
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Men are like Bluetooth: He is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away...Women are like Wi-Fi: She sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one...
Unknown
143 Likes
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