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Funny Graduation Speeche Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Graduation Speeche" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.
Benny Hill
92 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
Unknown
693 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Unknown
137 Likes
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
42 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to a New Year's party I'll have no recollection of attending.
Unknown
10 Likes
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Having fun in the sun, getting laid in the shade, summer's here...
Unknown
40 Likes
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This year let's resolve to make better bad decisions.
Unknown
30 Likes
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May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did.
Unknown
20 Likes
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People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart.
Howard Simons
8 Likes
Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.
Neil Gaiman
0 Likes
Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.
Unknown
473 Likes
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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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Getting my dragon was perhaps the biggest surprise. I was in Amsterdam and got a little crazy, dropping my pants at a tattoo parlour and woke up the next morning and saw this really funny dragon. Ive always wanted a dragon but this one had a funny blue tongue. To me a dragon is very much a woman, strong and elegant.
Angelina Jolie
7 Likes
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What I thought I was going to do over the summer: hang with friends, have a party, go swimming, go to the beach. What I did: Internet.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning
86 Likes
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Unknown
71 Likes
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I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox...
Unknown
146 Likes
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When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
Hussein Nishah
270 Likes
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