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Funny How Strangers Become Lov Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny How Strangers Become Lov" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
Unknown
382 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style.
Unknown
382 Likes
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My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I don't like really feminine men who tan. I don't understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brand's not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.
Kesha
38 Likes
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My ideal man would be funny and fat with a beard. I love fat men. I like real men. I dont like really feminine men who tan. I dont understand that. I like a funny man, though. Russell Brands not quite my type, but if he had a fat, bearded friend, that would be perfect.
Kesha
18 Likes
The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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I think it's funny that most people who claim to be 'pro life' are also pro gun. And by funny I mean sad. And by people I mean morons.
Unknown
26 Likes
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Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!
Unknown
1488 Likes
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Sorry the movie New Year's Eve will still be more enjoyable than your actual New Year's Eve.
Unknown
1 Likes
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I used to like watching the Carol Burnett Show. I thought Carol Burnett was very funny. And I liked Madeline Kahn a lot because in my house we were watching a lot of Mel Brooks movies and she was always in them and super funny. And Gilda Radner. I used to like watching Saturday Night Live. I always thought that she was hilarious.
Paul Rudd
14 Likes
Weird people are funny. If you're just completely normal, you're boring. So I so much prefer weird people to boring people.
Bobbie
29 Likes
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If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.'
Unknown
1326 Likes
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I don't think fat is pretty. If I saw some big fat leopard walking through the jungle, I'd start laughing. Or if I was at the races, I saw some 150-lb. greyhound running against the other lean greyhounds, I'd start laughing too. It doesn't seem very natural. It doesn't look healthy. It doesn't look sleek or stealth. It looks funny. I think that's why people through history laugh at fat people. They're round and funny-looking.
Kirstie Alley
27 Likes
Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times it should be change default to UNSTABLE!
Ronak Gurung
5225 Likes
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For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
Unknown
6546 Likes
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The whitest white dipped in clinging dirt. Another summer has thrown its corpse on my floor. The streets have given birth to even more strangers. Rivers of urine stripe the sidewalks. It rained the other day and the only thing that occurred to me was it would wash the smell away for a few days. Tonight is the first hot night. Outside my window, the human noise factor is intense. Its past midnight. They talk too much. They scream liquor-fueled idiot chatter. I pull away and close the door. I think about how its all going to play out. How much time people spend trying to get across to each other, trying to clear their names. Trying to overturn the charges brought against them. I have decided to tell them that its all true and not seek a fair trial. Its the only way to be free. Stop trying to matter. I could get my body tattooed with air-colored ink and walk invisibly amongst them. I have heard people say that they felt closer to their parents after they have died. Maybe if I treat people
Henry Rollins
58 Likes
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Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.
Stephen Colbert
491 Likes
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Women spend more time thinking about what men think, then men spend thinking!
Unknown
111 Likes
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Let's not spend New Year's Eve trying to figure out where to spend New Year's Eve.
Unknown
49 Likes
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