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Funny Jail Poems Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jail Poems" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
Chelsea Handler
36 Likes
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Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did this year.
Unknown
241 Likes
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Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost. The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas.
Alfred Whitney Griswold
2 Likes
Books quotes
Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost. The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas.
Alfred Whitney Griswold
5 Likes
Books quotes
I love you because you actually put effort into me. I love you because nobody has ever given me the love that you have given me and you are the only one that could ever love me this way. I love you because you always make me feel that I am worth something. I love you because you have a nurturing nature and you take care of me. I love you because you made me smile when I almost forgotten how to. I love you because you have a huge and honest heart. I love you and every little thing about you. I love you because you are simply you.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Yeah! Real ni...s. ALL day! Just me. By myself. On the block. Holdin it down. Gun in my waist. Straight face. All day. Not a game. In jail. By myself. 1 bed. No pillow case. 1 pillow. Didnt nobody write me. It was early. Woke up. Went back to sleep. Took a nap. You ever go night night ni...?
Kevin Hart
1196 Likes
You’ll never really know how much you meant to me. My heart will be with you until the end just wait and see. I feel far from what would seem close. And close to what would seem far. When I die I don’t want you to cry. Just keep your head up high and your dreams to the sky.
Unknown
419 Likes
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The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...�
Issac Asimov
1381 Likes
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I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
Seann William Scott
11 Likes
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Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
Florenz Ziegfeld
1 Likes
Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel
0 Likes
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time.
Cloris Leachman
4 Likes
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Good morning world! May your troubles be less and your blessings be more. May you realize what all your pain and hard work is for. May you find the peace you seek within and have the patience to tolerate women and men! Have a great day friends!
Julie Hernandez
93 Likes
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Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost. The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas.
Alfred Whitney Griswold
7 Likes
Books quotes
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Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost. The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas.
Alfred Whitney Griswold
4 Likes
Books quotes
Ideas quotes
In this country, don't forget, a habit is no damn private hell. There's no solitary confinement outside of jail. A habit is hell for those you love. And in this country it's the worst kind of hell for those who love you.
Billie Holiday
1 Likes
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