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Funny Jokes About Lames Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jokes About Lames" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.
Amit Verma
99 Likes
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I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.
Unknown
78 Likes
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I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
Victoria Wood
80 Likes
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Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark.
Unknown
29 Likes
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The fastest way to make your own Anti-freeze is to hide her nightgown.
Unknown
24 Likes
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There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.
Geoffrey Parfitt
35 Likes
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I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
Winston Spear
19 Likes
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I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter
123 Likes
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
93 Likes
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
461 Likes
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I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.
Geoffrey Parfitt
13 Likes
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I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
Jack Benny
303 Likes
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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Philips
23 Likes
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I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
Monica Piper
124 Likes
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I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours.
Nikhil Saluja
56 Likes
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I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.
Les Dawson
81 Likes
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So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.
Frank Carson
28 Likes
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
Seth MacFarlane
1 Likes
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
Spike Milligan
30 Likes
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You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.
Anonymous
17 Likes
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