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Funny Man Is The Glueorted Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Man Is The Glueorted" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed.
Unknown
356 Likes
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I'm am not a great man I am just a man who has ideas and forces them on to the public via the Internet.
Melchor Lim
127 Likes
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Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein
14 Likes
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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Unknown
134 Likes
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I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.
Steve Zahn
1 Likes
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The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.
Unknown
128 Likes
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A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, Anything you say will be held against you! Then the drunk man yells, TITTIES!
Unknown
988 Likes
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A man who is not a communist at the age of twenty is a fool. Any man who is still communist at the age of thirty is an even bigger one.
George Bernard Shaw
12 Likes
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A woman would be much better off if she could distinguish the difference between a man who flatters her and a man who compliments her, a man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her, a man who views her as property and a man who views her properly, a man who lusts after her and a man who loves her, a man who believes he is Gos's gift to women and a man who remembers a woman is God's gift to man. Know your worth for you are God's jewel.
Unknown
57 Likes
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While a rich man cannot have more than 1440 minutes a day, a clever man makes more time by using OPM or Other Peoples Minutes.
Unknown
129 Likes
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The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
Unknown
14 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have s.. for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Unknown
341 Likes
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It's funny how you call me a celebrity. Oh man.
Steven Hill
2 Likes
I'm a one-man idiot.
Eddie Izzard
16 Likes
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A rich man's joke is always funny.
Thomas Edward Brown
1 Likes
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain
24 Likes
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A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
Unknown
4 Likes
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Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
Josh Billings
10 Likes
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You're the man I want our children to spend their weekends with.
Unknown
17 Likes
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