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Funny Short Facebook Statushole Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Short Facebook Statushole" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head.
Unknown
297 Likes
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I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...
Unknown
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I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then.
Unknown
168 Likes
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
Unknown
235 Likes
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I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing I'd be HUMILIATED.
Unknown
764 Likes
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That awkward moment when the teacher says slaves....and everyone looks at that one black kid in the class.
Unknown
162 Likes
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My stupid GPS can't find Rack City. bi....
Unknown
465 Likes
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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Hey I just met you, & this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts. You're face looks tasty!
Unknown
284 Likes
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I wish our s.. life was as passionate as your reaction to the casting news about Fifty Shades of Grey.
Unknown
67 Likes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
Unknown
88 Likes
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Whenever you're feeling down, remember; you're the sperm that won.
Unknown
373 Likes
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Always take your drivers license pic STONED, that way whenever you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that.
Unknown
451 Likes
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Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.
Unknown
567 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
Unknown
705 Likes
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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fu.. itself.
Unknown
636 Likes
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Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
Unknown
145 Likes
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Our sincere condolences to the next woman Michael Douglas gives Catherine Zeta-Jones' HPV to.
Unknown
26 Likes
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Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship?
Unknown
349 Likes
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