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Funny Valenties Day Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Valenties Day" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Happy Canada Day to my new countryman if they ever reinstate the military draft here.
Unknown
8 Likes
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I'd love to come celebrate Canada Day with you but I've already spent all my money on healthcare...
Unknown
16 Likes
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If you think you're having a bad day just picture a T-Rex trying to masturbate.
Unknown
318 Likes
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If you think you're having a bad day, just remember, somebody is going to have Snooki as a mom.
Unknown
328 Likes
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This Independence Day you're invited to my house where a large gathering of people will proudly display their dependence on drugs and alcohol.
Unknown
20 Likes
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For enduring the bloodcurdling torture of my adolescent years I promise to always keep your electronics functional.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
76 Likes
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I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
Tracy Smith
105 Likes
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Every time I have a good workout the day before, I somehow think it's acceptable to eat a cheeseburger and fries the next day.
Unknown
79 Likes
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You've always been a great mom because of your patience, sense of humor, and fondness for daytime drinking.
Unknown
24 Likes
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Let's hope by next Columbus Day all Americans have better health care options than the crew of a 1492 second-hand cargo ship.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Happy Grandparents Day to someone who probably didn't know it was Grandparents Day.
Unknown
5 Likes
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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This Bastille Day, let's pause to admire a country where leaders are celebrated for screwing hot models rather than impeached for ejaculating on interns.
Unknown
6 Likes
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I put as much thought into your Father's Day gift as you put into having me.
Unknown
10 Likes
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Happy Grandparents Day from someone who will probably be the end of this family's lineage.
Unknown
7 Likes
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I'd like to use Friendship Day to reassure you that you're not the one member of our group no one likes...
Unknown
22 Likes
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Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
Unknown
68 Likes
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I bet if there were death panels, its members would take Grandparents Day off.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone whom I'm even more dependent on now than when I was in utero.
Unknown
8 Likes
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