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Funny Wise Man Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Wise Man" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.
Unknown
128 Likes
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A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, Anything you say will be held against you! Then the drunk man yells, TITTIES!
Unknown
988 Likes
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The wise speak only of what they know, Grima son of Galmod. A witless worm have you become. Therefore be silent, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a serving-man till th.
JRR Tolkien
9 Likes
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A wise man once said; every downfall is another opportunity to get back up and fight.
Wazim Shaw
348 Likes
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Life is a pilgrimage. The wise man does not rest by the roadside inns. He marches direct to the illimitable domain of eternal bliss, his ultimate destination.
Swami Sivananda
6 Likes
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A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.
Robert Bulwer-Lytton
6 Likes
Smart is being Intellectual. Being wise is learning from your mistakes and gaining knowledge, that turn into wisdom that makes good decisions!
Glen Rambharack
28 Likes
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I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am wise because I've been foolish. I give in because I've tasted loneliness I smile because I've known sadness.
Nishan Panwar
122 Likes
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Being HUMBLE is more important than being WISE because GOD doesn't need a PROUD mouth that SPEAKS much, but be KIND heart that LISTENS!
Unknown
95 Likes
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I want to be sorry. I want to tell you that I messed up and that I never want to leave your side, but I can't. You've made me strong enough to let things go. Wise enough to protect myself from heartache. I'm sorry, but you've made me smart enough to leave you.
Unknown
88 Likes
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A foolish word can hurt a determined spirit but a wise heart easily ignores it.
Terry Mark
17 Likes
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The desire to reach for the stars is Ambitious. the desire to reach hearts is Wise.
Rick Sutter
20 Likes
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A man who is not a communist at the age of twenty is a fool. Any man who is still communist at the age of thirty is an even bigger one.
George Bernard Shaw
12 Likes
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A woman would be much better off if she could distinguish the difference between a man who flatters her and a man who compliments her, a man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her, a man who views her as property and a man who views her properly, a man who lusts after her and a man who loves her, a man who believes he is Gos's gift to women and a man who remembers a woman is God's gift to man. Know your worth for you are God's jewel.
Unknown
57 Likes
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How do you know antiquity was foolish? How do you know the present is wise? Who made it foolish? Who made it wise?
Francois Rabelais
3 Likes
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Wise people know the difference between what they desire and what they actually deserve.
Senora Roy
33 Likes
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Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion.
Robertson Davies
0 Likes
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The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
Unknown
14 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have s.. for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Unknown
341 Likes
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