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Jerry Seinfeld And Getting Old Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jerry Seinfeld And Getting Old" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Jerry Seinfeld couldn't be here tonight. He had a prior engagement to fu.. a model on a pile of cash.
Jeff Ross
1 Likes
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I'd like to do one of those jumps they do in the movies; in a car, over a bridge, in the air with a huge explosion. It would be a final moment of entertainment.
Jerry Seinfeld
5 Likes
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld
5 Likes
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
Jerry Seinfeld
7 Likes
Pets quotes
I'll work with Jerry Seinfeld any day of the week. Get a nice little paycheck there, but you do it for free. It's just good to be associated with that man. He's a great guy.
Patrick Warburton
1 Likes
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I wouldn't call myself a standup in the presence of Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock, but I do my share of it and it has been and remains part of my activity and I like it.
Alan Thicke
0 Likes
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
Jerry Seinfeld
1 Likes
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.
Jerry Seinfeld
3 Likes
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
Funny quotes
People quotes
Did you ever notice how they have commercials on TV with detergents that get out blood stains. If you have blood all over your shirt, I don't think laundry is your biggest problem.
Jerry Seinfeld
4 Likes
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
3 Likes
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
0 Likes
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
I miss being on the stage with the gang, you know, and we would make up stuff sometimes and laugh and I miss writing with Larry. And there was a,we had a great feeling together. We really all thought we were, you know, we enjoyed each other's humor.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets.
Jerry Seinfeld
7 Likes
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Jerry Seinfeld
28 Likes
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