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Makeup Funny Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Makeup Funny Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I'm the kind of person who would come out of the gym...And go straight to McDonalds.
Unknown
157 Likes
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You traded in your iPhone 4 for an extra half inch? Hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same.
Hussein Nishah
443 Likes
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Just realized the tooth fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money!
Unknown
50 Likes
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Good choice putting $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic. That's like Betty White going out and getting her tits done.
Unknown
476 Likes
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Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.
Unknown
450 Likes
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They should make a reality TV show called, 'Jersey Shore meets Shark Week.'
Unknown
155 Likes
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I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
Unknown
2862 Likes
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The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Zach Manal
320 Likes
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If I were a bathroom tile salesman, my pitch would be 'Think of how great this will look in the background of your social networking pics.'
Hussein Nishah
123 Likes
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No officer, I didn't see you in my rear view...my eyes haven't left my phone for at least the past 5 miles...
Unknown
100 Likes
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At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, 'Make it 52.'
Unknown
519 Likes
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Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money?! This number is no longer in service...
Unknown
835 Likes
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It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's 2 months from December and no one gives a shit.
Unknown
101 Likes
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Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
Unknown
520 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
Unknown
345 Likes
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Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
Unknown
372 Likes
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Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people Happy Birthday, ever.
Unknown
584 Likes
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I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he'll never have any friends.
Unknown
784 Likes
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I wish I could illegally download clothes...
Unknown
55 Likes
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I don't make typos. I make new words.
Unknown
914 Likes
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