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Makeup Jokes Getting Old Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Makeup Jokes Getting Old" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
Scott Roeben
47 Likes
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When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
2 Likes
Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
Nick Clooney
2 Likes
I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a $hitload of money.
Jeff Foxworthy
24 Likes
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henry Youngman
19 Likes
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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Anonymous
67 Likes
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
Frank Carson
63 Likes
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A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
Arnold H Glasgow
8 Likes
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That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course.
Unknown
19 Likes
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I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him.
Jim Loy
27 Likes
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Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumbprint.
Andy Waits
30 Likes
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i know you think you broke my heart, but I saw your game right from the start, I knew it well and played it too, so laugh it up the jokes on you.
Katie Johnson
51 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
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I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
Simon Le Bon
4 Likes
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The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Unknown
478 Likes
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I love that men like to look at women, that they love sports, that they need to know the inner workings of mechanical objects. I love the whole makeup of men - that they never mature and are always just boys.
Krista Allen
16 Likes
I almost always mess up. I fall too easily in love. I cry over boys. I'm not the prettiest girl you can find. I think makeup can hide what I don't want people to see. I talk way too much. I laugh at the stupidest things. But the thing that gets me most is that I let people affect me ... When really, they mean nothing at all to me.
Ritu Ghatourey
21 Likes
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word.
Unknown
110 Likes
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So many people have no sense of humor, whatsoever! Everyone knows that it is my job to tell the jokes, that's what I do...so if you have thin skin, then I guess we won't be hanging out.
Kathy Griffin
1 Likes
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