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Man Up Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Man Up Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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I had plenty of pi.ples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney Dangerfield
87 Likes
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Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
Rue McClanahan
1 Likes
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have s.. for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Unknown
341 Likes
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I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humor rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it, I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.
Steven Moffat
6 Likes
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What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Unknown
261 Likes
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Slut jokes are just whor..able.
Unknown
524 Likes
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So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi driver says, don't worry we'll lose him at the next lights.
Tommy Cooper
131 Likes
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Before I start, I'd like to assure you that this speech won't be full of carry on style jokes. Although last night I got hold of a one and wanted to slip it in but my missus told me to put it away.
Unknown
11 Likes
Best Man Speech quotes
I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't.
Dylan Thomas
77 Likes
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I saw a man at the beach screaming, 'Help, shark, help!' I laughed because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.
Unknown
79 Likes
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his sho... After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his sho...
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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s.. is a sensation caused by temptation, when a man puts his location in a woman's destination, did you understand the explanation or would you like a demonstration?
Azgraybebly Josland
851 Likes
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Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
30 Likes
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I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
59 Likes
Jokes quotes
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
Jokes quotes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
35 Likes
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
19 Likes
Jokes quotes
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
59 Likes
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