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Monday Witty Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Monday Witty" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes .
Unknown
357 Likes
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Build a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set him on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.
Unknown
24 Likes
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Country music stays at the top off the charts because the people who listen to it don't know how to download it for free.
Unknown
60 Likes
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If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they cant have a headache and s.. at the same time?
Azgraybebly Joslan
140 Likes
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner
19 Likes
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Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
Nikhil Saluja
91 Likes
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I love how we don't even need to say out loud that I'm your favorite child.
Unknown
48 Likes
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If s.. were sho.., I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.
Jarod Kintz
71 Likes
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Sarcasm is a bodies natural defense against stupid.
Unknown
107 Likes
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If we are suppose to forget about the past, why do we have to take history class anyway?
Unknown
59 Likes
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If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.
Unknown
189 Likes
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Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
Unknown
1083 Likes
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Thanks for not putting me up for adoption unless you're not really my mom...
Unknown
16 Likes
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Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. So said by the idiot who can't understand it.
Ramandeep Singh
145 Likes
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Opportunity tends to knock once, then it's gone...temptation, however, likes to stand there and lean on the damn doorbell!
Sarah Moores
132 Likes
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Unknown
3730 Likes
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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Unknown
56 Likes
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How come in Spider-man 3, when his suit turned black, Spider-man became a thief and a criminal...
Unknown
68 Likes
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If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning.
Henry Wadsworth
9 Likes
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Unknown
75 Likes
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