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My Life Is Like A Toilet Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "My Life Is Like A Toilet" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Whoever coined the phrase 'You don't know what you got till its gone.' was talking about toilet paper, probably.
Unknown
90 Likes
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Ain't a hood ni... but a ni... from the ho-od. See mama stayed on me so I turned out pretty go-od but if you wanna try it sucker, now then we can do it, Ha ha sleep. Tylenol PM if I pull it, Sh-sh-sheep count 'em for the rest of ya life. Yeah yeah ya partner got away but now he vegetable-like. So so I sent his mom and dad a whole case of V8. He can die, any second, how much long it's 'gon take?! 'Gon get it over with, oh what if, you were in my loafers then. You might be the dope but I would flush it down the toilet.
Andre 3000
172 Likes
Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Unknown
327 Likes
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Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out? -Debbie: [to Alison]
Knocked Up (The Movie)
5 Likes
Music loud, hear it banging through the whole street. Beat getting shit on: toilet bowl seat.
Mac Miller
15 Likes
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There is nothing as disgusting as the feeling you get the moment that your finger breaks through the toilet paper.
Unknown
305 Likes
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Genuine, but a toilet paper fraud. Yuh nuh inna dat while living large.
Mad Cobra
1 Likes
I wrote this on the shitter usin' toilet-paper. Put your head inside the water, enjoy the flavor.
Mac Miller
16 Likes
I think the bottom line for me and for Newsweek is that there were a lot of - we did retract this specific matter about the Koran and the toilet for the reasons that you just cited.
Michael Isikoff
4 Likes
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
3 Likes
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You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.
Don Van Vliet
3 Likes
I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you.
Albus Dumbledore
3 Likes
I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.
Jonny Wilkinson
1 Likes
I flew back just in time to pick up a toilet seat for my girlfriend. It didn't go over that well. I thought, 'It's a famous thing. It should be treated well.'
Ben Affleck
3 Likes
I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress?
Farrah Fawcett
3 Likes
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The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet.
Macy Gray
9 Likes
I didn't go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim.
Wilford Brimley
4 Likes
A company in Japan has developed a set of kneepads that allow men to squat down in front of the toilet, reducing the possibility of splash back when they urinate. Also, that's not what they're for.
Seth Meyers
2 Likes
There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.
Adrian Edmondson
5 Likes
Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.
Chuck Palahniuk
11 Likes
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