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Sarcastic Funny Qouates Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Sarcastic Funny Qouates" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty sho...
Unknown
1758 Likes
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
1907 Likes
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The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that its my cellphone.
Unknown
1254 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table theres nothing wrong with them, but its hard to stop thinking about it.
Unknown
23 Likes
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You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck.
Bubba Smith
6 Likes
Some people are really going all out for Halloween. The guy driving behind me even got sirens & flashing lights to go with his cop costume.
Unknown
355 Likes
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I resolve to stop having meaningless s.. in 2014, so I suggest you pay me a compliment or get me liquored up ASAP.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
Unknown
1833 Likes
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I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash.
Unknown
561 Likes
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Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.
Tom Hiddleston
7 Likes
Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....
Unknown
743 Likes
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Voltaire
20 Likes
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My favorite outdoor activity is going back to inside.
Unknown
100 Likes
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It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
Jimi Hendrix
1546 Likes
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What's so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny, they're going to go for, and it's just great.
Paul Feig
1 Likes
Funny in Michigan you can be a seasonal boyfriend and in the summer you can take off But in the winter you gotta be on lock.
Unknown
64 Likes
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True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
Unknown
76 Likes
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Here's to drinking enough that we'll need Ryan Seacrest to help us count backwards from ten.
Unknown
5 Likes
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It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Unknown
363 Likes
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