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Screw It Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Screw It Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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It's adorable when sleep tries to compete with Facebook.
Unknown
214 Likes
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We're young. We dont need a girl or boy to hold & kiss. We wont always be able to relax and be kids, but we'll always be able to love. So I'm gonna go out there and live in this world, leave my mark and make a difference. Because in 5 years we will want to rewind. So stop worrying about your girl/boy. Now is the time of our lives, lets make mistakes, not care & have memories that will never fade. Live it up and live it crazy. Drop the drama, screw the calories, and never question your actions. Make history.
Mickey Anderson
210 Likes
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Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
42 Likes
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People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart.
Howard Simons
15 Likes
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Laziness is the mother of all bad habits but ultimately she is a MOTHER and we should respect her.
DEV
130 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.
Carol Nelson
103 Likes
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Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.
Hussein Nishah
350 Likes
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A good wife comes from God and a good husband comes from the bank.
Evans Amecha
51 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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Hey you. Yes you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you liked someone else, or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things you wouldn't be you. And, why would you want to be anyone els? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself, then you stick your middle finger in the air, and say screw it! Your happiness will not, be depended on anyone anymore. Life is too short to be perfect. Love your imperfections, they make you, you. And, your flaws is what make you beautiful. So, be you. Because, you, are pretty amazing.
Unknown
87 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids.
Unknown
51 Likes
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There should be a relationship status for I don't even know whats going on.
Unknown
38 Likes
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I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.
Unknown
20 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.
Unknown
229 Likes
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Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
Hussein Nishah
526 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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