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Slap Status For Ex Gfortment Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Slap Status For Ex Gfortment" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
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Telling someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings...'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!'
Unknown
619 Likes
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I bet the NSA stopped monitoring your phone records after seeing they were all drunk dials to exes at 4 a.m.
Unknown
44 Likes
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Unknown
3730 Likes
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Children had a special status - protected from the outside world - and they dressed for the part in a way that made that special status immediately visible to themselves and the adults.
Maggie Gallagher
3 Likes
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Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
Unknown
521 Likes
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Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans...
Unknown
265 Likes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
Unknown
236 Likes
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
42 Likes
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If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
61 Likes
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My ex boyfriends facebook status said 'Suicidal and standing on the edge.' ...So I poked him.
Unknown
1727 Likes
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Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.
Unknown
55 Likes
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Keep your issues in your tissue box, and learn how to keep them out of your status box.
Unknown
157 Likes
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
479 Likes
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How would you know if he really loves you? Its when you scream hes calm. When you slap him he kisses you. When you cry he hugs you. When you tell him that you hate him he tells you he loves you.
Unknown
150 Likes
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'Remember, nothing says good job, like a firm, open-palm slap on the behind!' - s..ual Harassment Training Video
Unknown
882 Likes
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The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.
Nikhil Saluja
487 Likes
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I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on the internet.
Unknown
57 Likes
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Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady.
Unknown
47 Likes
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As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.
Unknown
296 Likes
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