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Super Funny Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Super Funny Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The government could fix everything that's wrong with the country if they'd simply read my Facebook updates.
Unknown
62 Likes
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The first status on Facebook in 2013: 'Is anyone alive?'
Unknown
616 Likes
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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.
Unknown
255 Likes
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
Unknown
340 Likes
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It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be freaking fantastic!
Nishan Panwar
547 Likes
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That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.
Unknown
631 Likes
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
Unknown
1256 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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Facebook is that insecure chick that keeps changing her hairstyle &/or color until she finally loses her mind and shaves it & scares everyone.
Unknown
520 Likes
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Myspace is my ex husband, Facebook is my baby daddy, Twitter is my ho and I'm in a serious relationship with Instagram.
Ambri Bright
402 Likes
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If you like someone who's your best friend, who you can talk to about anything and you're super, super close, then Jacob is the guy. But if you like the more mysterious type, Edward is your man.
Taylor Lautner
11 Likes
I'm ready to take our relationship to the level of appearing together in a Facebook profile picture.
Unknown
302 Likes
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That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious.
Unknown
549 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
Unknown
376 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Unknown
170 Likes
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My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
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Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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