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Witty Sarcasm Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Witty Sarcasm" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
What a great feeling to be in love! It seems that everything around you is invisible and all you see is just the apple of your eyes. Just staring those eyes of your dearly beloved would make everything else pales and time stand still. Isn't it wonderful to be in loved? The feeling is just so heavenly.
Unknown
7 Likes
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Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
Unknown
195 Likes
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Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.
Unknown
3329 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
1682 Likes
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Unknown
1536 Likes
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Let me bi... at you every day until you sort your shit out.
Unknown
238 Likes
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
Unknown
201 Likes
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The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
Unknown
960 Likes
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That awkward moment when sluts hate on other sluts for being sluts...
Unknown
265 Likes
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I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
Oscar Wilde
2 Likes
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Im fabulous. Im an incredible dresser, Ive got buckets of money, Im a hoot and a half and I got a killer rack.
Unknown
59 Likes
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The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
Florence King
0 Likes
99% of the time my brain is thinking blah, meh, why, huh, WTF, food and computers. The other 1% I'm usually asleep.
Unknown
204 Likes
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Born at a very young age.
Unknown
148 Likes
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Hey Vegetarians, my food shits on your food.
Unknown
348 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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So, I bought a new cd and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers..I mean plastic and then tape and the tape is like government tape. It says open here..is that sarcasm?, and buy batteries and they are in there with layers and layers of cardboard and then scissors....you need scissors to get into scissors, what if you were buying them for the first time? you wouldnt be able to get them open. Then you try and buy a light bulb and it's this thin thin cardboard .....what are they thinking? Ohh they'll be fine
Ellen DeGeneres
24 Likes
Government quotes
When I start writing a song, I just try and show you who I am. A goofy kid with some ridicolous skills, who makes witty raps about the Ninja Turtles, Rugrats, Mario, all that good stuff. I'm not your typical white kid trying to act black. Yes, I like to rock fitteds and some cool kicks. But I'm way more then some gimmick, you always got to stay true to yourself and who you are. Or else, you're just straight booty chowder.
Chris Webby
30 Likes
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
Unknown
536 Likes
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I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it. I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here...
Bill Hicks
66 Likes
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