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Billy Connolly Grandmother Be Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Billy Connolly Grandmother Be" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
Billy Connolly
10 Likes
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I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.
Billy Connolly
5 Likes
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.
Billy Connolly
24 Likes
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Billy Connolly
8 Likes
My grandmother played the piano, and I used to toddle over there and pick out little things that sounded good to me.
Billy Strayhorn
2 Likes
I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
Billy Connolly
9 Likes
Funny quotes
Money quotes
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
32 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
16 Likes
Marriage quotes
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
Billy Connolly
15 Likes
Judaism quotes
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Billy Connolly
10 Likes
Parents quotes
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