Funny Jokes And Pictures

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Total: 138314 Quotes
 Tommy Cooper quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi driver says, don't worry we'll lose him at the next lights.
 
 Les Dawson quotes 
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Suggest Revision: In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
 
 Sam Ewing quotes 
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Suggest Revision: A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
 
 Jerry Dennis quotes 
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Suggest Revision: A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
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Suggest Revision: When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
 
 Frank Carson quotes 
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Suggest Revision: Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
 
 Anonymous quotes 
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Suggest Revision: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.
 
 Steven Wright quotes 
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Suggest Revision: My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
 
 Carl Zwanzig quotes 
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Suggest Revision: Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
 
 Jack Handey quotes 
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Suggest Revision: When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
 
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