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George Lopez Funny Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Lopez Funny Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now.
Unknown
52 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
Rob Corddry
11 Likes
You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Unknown
498 Likes
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
16 Likes
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So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.'
Tim Vine
18 Likes
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The putts break toward the diamond lane on the freeway here. I had a putt break toward a call box, so I know it depends on what lane. I missed a two-footer because a guy was changing his tire in my line.
George Lopez
3 Likes
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter
123 Likes
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I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.
Geoffrey Parfitt
13 Likes
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I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid...
Unknown
222 Likes
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I would say a crippled joke but I cant stand them.
Unknown
109 Likes
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.
Geoffrey Parfitt
35 Likes
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Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.
Amit Verma
99 Likes
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
93 Likes
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I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
Tommy Cooper
20 Likes
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The fastest way to make your own Anti-freeze is to hide her nightgown.
Unknown
24 Likes
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I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.
Unknown
78 Likes
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I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
Winston Spear
19 Likes
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Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark.
Unknown
29 Likes
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