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George Lopez Funny Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Lopez Funny Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I'm positive I lost an electron, I better keep an ion that.
Unknown
144 Likes
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I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
Victoria Wood
80 Likes
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
461 Likes
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Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.
Unknown
204 Likes
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If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person inside, but you could have all the season's contestants of America's Next Top Model in you. I hope I get reincarnated as your feet. That way, you'd never see my face again... Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you. Because in my country, cows are sacred.
George Lopez
4 Likes
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I'm not an optimist but hopefully one day I will be.
Nikhil Saluja
90 Likes
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A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
Hussein Nishah
397 Likes
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You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.
Anonymous
17 Likes
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I just tripped over my sister's bras. I guess it was a booby trap.
Unknown
155 Likes
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
149 Likes
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I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours.
Nikhil Saluja
56 Likes
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I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.
Les Dawson
81 Likes
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I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
Paula Deen
3 Likes
I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
Monica Piper
124 Likes
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I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
Jack Benny
303 Likes
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
Alice Jane
153 Likes
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I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids!
Milton Berle
105 Likes
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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Philips
23 Likes
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
Seth MacFarlane
1 Likes
So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.
Frank Carson
28 Likes
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