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Hump Day Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Hump Day Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or when we are in love.
Ritu Ghatourey
476 Likes
Funny quotes
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Jokes quotes
So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored and kept pestering my Dad to go and play. Eventually he agreed, took me over to the lion enclosure, threw me in and said: There ya go, play dead...
Robert Paul
44 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
Tim Vine
3 Likes
I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
Eric Sykes
76 Likes
Funny quotes
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The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose, and his mother's mouth. Which leaves his mother with a pretty blank expression.
Robert Benchley
13 Likes
Mothers Day quotes
Jokes quotes
Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.
Gilbert K Chesterton
2 Likes
Do not free the camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.
M Kathleen Casey
0 Likes
I hump the wild to take it all in, there is no bag limit on happiness.
Ted Nugent
20 Likes
Happiness quotes
If you want dodgeball victory you gotta grab it by its haunches and h..h..hump it into submission, that's the only way. -Patches O Houlihan
Dodgeball
15 Likes
I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't.
Dylan Thomas
77 Likes
Jokes quotes
Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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As I look back on my past, I remember the jokes I laughed at, the things I missed and lost, but there's one thing I will never regret, it's the day you become my friend
Unknown
59 Likes
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I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
30 Likes
Jokes quotes
I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
Dolly Parton
59 Likes
Jokes quotes
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
Jokes quotes
Drop it down to a split let em know that you the shit, put yo legs behind yo head. Put a hump in yo back and shake yo rump ain't no need for Simon says.
Roscoe Dash
7 Likes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
19 Likes
Jokes quotes
Social Change quotes
The Daily Show quotes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
35 Likes
Jokes quotes
Social Change quotes
The Daily Show quotes
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
59 Likes
Jokes quotes
Social Change quotes
The Daily Show quotes
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump.
Fergie
3 Likes
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