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Ghetto Olympics: On your MARK.....Get SET........TWERK!
Unknown
306 Likes
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Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
Unknown
1083 Likes
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I wonder if there will be a day where they were fu..ing sick of making calendars?
Unknown
104 Likes
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God made everything that has life. And the rest is made in China.
Kcee Cunanan
298 Likes
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My dog thinks I am patting his belly...little does he know I am playing the most epic drum solo of all time.
Unknown
181 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.'
Unknown
722 Likes
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
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Somebody needs to start a restaurant called, 'Chick-Fil-Atheist' that's only open on Sunday.
Unknown
215 Likes
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Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them.
Unknown
117 Likes
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Girls are the best vehicles in the world because: 2 beautiful headlights in front, 2 great bumbers at the back, self-lubricating when hot, finger touch ignition automatic engine oil change every month. any type of pistons fit, multiple seating styles & adjustments. great accessories, automatic and manuall drive from both sides. ready 4 test drive any time.. ;)
Unknown
388 Likes
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When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss!
Jorge Armenta
428 Likes
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China is only winning the Olympics because they made all the equipment...
Unknown
398 Likes
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Women are magic creatures: they get wet without water, bleed without being injured, give milk without eating grass, & can make boneless meat.
Unknown
202 Likes
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Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
Unknown
336 Likes
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Birth control pills should probably be made for men. Doesn't it make more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest?
Unknown
335 Likes
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I'm not saying you're ugly, I'm just saying you're about 8 beers away from being my type.
Unknown
248 Likes
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My girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis...She asked what was I doing. Apparently, 'heating up your dinner' wasn't a sexy answer.
Unknown
570 Likes
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I need breakfast! If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me.
Unknown
176 Likes
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The Energizer Bunny got arrested. He was charged with battery.
Unknown
275 Likes
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