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Bags Under Eyes Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Bags Under Eyes Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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A blind man walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair.
Unknown
135 Likes
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So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.
Frank Carson
28 Likes
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Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes.
Aries Spears
6 Likes
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
149 Likes
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What's worse than a bull in a china shop? A hedgehog in a condom factory.
Unknown
14 Likes
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Every word that you say keeps on bouncing around in my head. When all my delusions of grandeur have turned into bad jokes instead.
Mike Posner
6 Likes
A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life. Your best friend, your soulmate. The one you can tell your dreams to. He'll brush your hair out of your eyes, send you flowers when you least expect it. He'll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid eight dollars to see it. Hell call to say goodnight or just because he is missing you. Hell look in your eyes and tell you you're the most beautiful girl ever and for the first time in your life, you'll believe it.
Unknown
173 Likes
True Love quotes
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After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with color, bountiful with life. Within decades we must close our eyes again. Isnt it a noble, an enlightened way of spending our brief time in the sun, to work at understanding the universe and how we have come to wake up in it? This is how I answer when I am askedas I am surprisingly oftenwhy I bother to get up in the mornings.
Richard Dawkins
12 Likes
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True beauty touches the heart not the eyes.
Unknown
918 Likes
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You are so big, you plays hopscotch like, 'Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania...'
Unknown
12 Likes
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Want to look skinny without losing any weight? Hang out with fat people.
Unknown
210 Likes
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Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Nikhil Saluja
103 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Eric Morecambe
44 Likes
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The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.
Sam Ewing
25 Likes
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The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head.
Unknown
112 Likes
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Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes.
Ashley Tisdale
30 Likes
I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
Milt Kamen
51 Likes
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I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
35 Likes
I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea.
Unknown
93 Likes
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